What constitutes a Spoiler: A Philosophical Dialogue
It’s Caturday, and Big Cat and Little Cat have been discussing spoilers while they’re waiting for Middle Cat to get back from that spa with the new hair-barfing cleanse. And what they’re discussing, of course, is spoilers. It all started when Little Cat spoiled a scene in The Incredible Journey. Erika (aka Human-Mom) was holding the book so they could read it over her shoulder, when, seemingly without warning, they arrived at the passage where Tao gets attacked by a bobcat.
Big Cat was so upset he didn’t want to read anymore. So, naturally, he jumped into Erika’s lap while she was reading and sat on the book she was holding for him. Erika started yelling some stuff about how she was reading that. (Which is ridiculous. And anyway, it’s their book, not hers.) Then out of nowhere, Little Cat yowled: “It’s fine! Tao makes it out of the scene. They’re not going to kill a protagonist in a children’s book. Don’t you pick up context clues?”
“Spoilers!” Big Cat yowled back.
Anyway, this exchange led to a surprisingly civil conversation in which both cats were able to make their feelings and arguments known using reasoned, mature arguments, and also violence.
All of which would have been fine if Erika’s lap hadn’t been the chosen battleground. But then. If you have cats, is it really YOUR lap at all anymore? It’s not, is it? Be honest.
Was it a Spoiler? Discuss!
Anyway. What do you, the patient reader think? Is it okay to reveal spoilers? Is it not? Does it count as a spoiler if you can predict the ending but haven’t read/watched that far?
Discuss!
Script by Adam Katz.
Cinematography by Erika Grumet.
Executive Producer: Rocket
Starring Frob as Big Cat and Widget as Little Cat.
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Description
Two Cats are sitting in repose, a large orange looking down beatifically at an irascible little grey. The orange asks, with characteristic nonchalance: “I don’t see why we can’t watch the movie I want to watch.” The grey responds: “Because if I have to listen to you say: ‘Ooh! Here comes the part where…’ then that’s where our friendship will end, and I’m not ready for that.”
