When I write an essay about writing, I try to be transparent about the issues at stake. I am neurodivergent. And being neurodivergent leads to some difficulties, but also some opportunities that other writers might or might not have. But there are a lot of issues. Partly because I am a complex person and partly because we live in a world that is literally on fire. And it can be difficult to talk about one issue without it leading to another and so on like an endless spider web of cause and effect. But anyway.
This website began with the idea that there are two rules of writing that essentially serve as a license to keep going despite making mistakes along the way. And I stand by those two rules. But I have talked elsewhere about a third… guideline that makes the first two more sustainable. And that third guideline is to share the journey.
So I wanted to give an example of how that works. How having people to share the journey helps me keep going.
Storytime Solidarity… Reaching out to Fellow Travelers
As many of you know, I recently started doing some editing work for another website, Storytime Solidarity. It’s a wonderful website, even if you’re not a librarian. Lots of good book recommendations. Lots of behind-the-scenes straight-talk about how librarians do their work and make their decisions. Last week, I was editing one of the forthcoming articles for that website. A piece about how libraries help lesser-known authors. One recommendation that article gives is to download an app called Overdrive and use it to get free audiobooks and other delectables from your local library.
Something clicked as I was editing the piece, and a day or so later, I went to my local library website and found… that they don’t do Overdrive. But they do a related app called Libby. So I downloaded that instead. And then I used it to get an audiobook. Okay first I used it to get a regular book because I was confused about how everything… never mind.
The point is that, in the space of fifteen minutes or less, I had entered my library card number, done a search for audiobooks, and borrowed The Dawn of Everything by David Wengrow and the late David Graeber.
It’s a really good book. Actually it was exactly what I needed. I’ve been having trouble getting into a book for a while. Any book. In just the last year I’ve been repeating a lot–A Song of Ice and Fire, Jane Austen. I’ve tried other things. But this feels like the first book I’ve read in a while that I’ll actually finish. And that I’ll actually take something new from.
In which we Praise a Work of Anthropology
Partly it’s the subject matter. Graeber and Wengrow have a simple and compelling thesis. A motto, as it were, for our times: It doesn’t have to be this way. How many of us, in the hours of leisure afforded us by the pandemic (if we are privileged enough to enjoy such) have not wondered to ourselves why we have a government that seemingly inhabits every sector of our lives only to let graft and corruption tie its hands from actually doing any good? Through example after example, their dense but conversational narrative shows that other civilizations were able to build lively urban centers and address emergent issues without sacrificing individual autonomy as we who live in post-industrial societies have overwhelmingly done.
I’m Reading a Book!
It’s hard to overstate how big a deal it is that I… am reading a book. Since the beginning of the pandemic, I’ve read maybe five to ten new books. A big part of that is dissertation burnout. Towards the end of 2019 I was writing thousands of words a day and reading tens of thousands, and, whatever anyone tells you, you don’t heal your burnout over a long weekend, or even a year of long weekends.
In fact, a big part of my motivation towards co-founding this website was to find a different way to do something I loved. I knew I loved writing. I knew I did not love academic writing. So a creative writing website like this would be just the thing to help me experience a range of styles and genres and approaches. Help me keep teaching and editing, even as I jettisoned the structures that were causing the burnout in the first place.
It’s been working. Slowly. But it’s been working.
Routines Help, but Only up to a Point
The weekly schedule is a big part of the success of this venture. Having that deadline (however self-imposed) keeps my writing chops sharp. But the other important aspect of our work here has been the opportunity to meet with fellow writers. Or with people who want to write something but don’t know what.
Did I know about apps that allow you to download ebooks from libraries? I did. Had I used one before? I had not. Something about this wonderful essay I was editing gave me the energy I needed to reach outside myself and try something new. Not very new. Not very far outside of myself. But that’s not an important distinction. Or rather, it’s a distinction that only comes up when that little voice in the back of my head is trying to make me feel bad for some reason. I’m not sure why that voice does that, by the way. He’s a dick. And he lives here all the time. So he knows that there are times when writing a novel doesn’t feel like such a big deal. And there are times when getting out of bed does feel like a big deal.
I Made Mistakes and I Learned Something
Anyway that’s the story. There are things I know would be good. Reading a book. Exploring an app that connects me to my library. And so on. The fact that I don’t do these things does not mean I am lazy; it means I am living in a global pandemic and I don’t always have the energy even for basic things. And that’s okay. Sometimes when I don’t have the energy to set up my account at the library, I do have the energy to reach out to people and talk. Especially about a topic of mutual interest such as books and writing and so on. And talking like that gives me the energy to do what I didn’t have the energy to do before. And for today, that’s enough.
